Disappointment.
With all these results coming out, I can't help but to feel really disappointed in myself. I feel like I've let so many people down. Before anyone of you comforts me, the point is that I was never the girl with good grades, I was more like the girl with bottom 25% and so people around me and myself, don't really have very high expectations of my results. When I got back my results the other day, I couldn't describe exactly how I felt. I was happy that I got an average result, but at the same time, I felt like shit because I wasn't expecting to get a D7 for my higher mother tongue since Chinese has always been the stronger language. I felt like shit for the entire day as well as the next few days. Because of my higher mother tongue, I wasn't able to get into the school I want. It sucks big time, the school is just freaking two bus stops away from my house. My parents, though, I could see that they were proud of me for being able to get such a score because like I've said earlier, I was a below average student. A part of me just felt really bad, first for failing my higher mother tongue and second, my score may seem great to them but if people were to compare their children's with mine, my results were horrible. I seriously can't help but to feel that I've let them down.
Alright, I resigned to fate and went on with my school choices. I meet the cutoff point for the school and it was also one of the schools that I want to go to before I got back my results. I submitted my choices and waited. Today, I received the posting results and I didn't get into the school I want. I ended up getting posted to my second choice. I have nothing against the school I'm posted to because I heard positive things about it but the thing that puts me off would be the travelling time. It's so far away!
However what really angers me about the results is that a schoolmate of mine actually got into the school I want, with the exact same points as me. It's so ridiculous that she gets in and I don't. If they want to compare about leadership, I'm sure we are on par. Oh not to mention how some other people who got worse results than me but still got in because he/she get to minus 4 extra points and just hit the cutoff point for that school. It's not just me who encountered such a situation. I have a lot of friends who didn't get into their first choice too despite getting the same number points as their friends who managed to get in. I just felt like, why is it so unfair? Oh, you may say it's due to limited places in the school but heck, if that's really the case then why do you all still consider students who are going to appeal to the school? You guys are probably gonna say I'm contradicting myself when I tell you all that I actually appealed for the school I want to go into. Whatever floats your boat.
It's also irritating that those people who get really good scores get into schools that are pretty average. The main point is, I don't care if they are spoiling the market in that particular school but because of them, people like me don't get the chance to go to the school they want despite really studying for it. For those people who are smart, they have the rights to choose whatever school they want but for people like me, we don't really have many choices. I'm also not really blaming the people who have good grades coming to average schools and make us compete for a place in that school because maybe they considered the distance factor.
At times like this, I just feel like studying in Singapore is really tiring. No matter how well you study, there will always be someone above you, better than you. I understand that competing makes people improve themselves but really, it's getting harder and harder for people to get into their ideal school/ courses. With everyone so high and above in Singapore, it's hard to find the best and instead it's easy to spot the weak. As such, the weak gets outcasted and condemned. No matter how hard the weak tries to climb up, it's impossible for them to get out of the lowest tier in our society.
This whole post is solely based on my opinion and I am not directing to post to anybody. If you are offended by my opinion then that's just too bad.
Jing Yi
Alright, I resigned to fate and went on with my school choices. I meet the cutoff point for the school and it was also one of the schools that I want to go to before I got back my results. I submitted my choices and waited. Today, I received the posting results and I didn't get into the school I want. I ended up getting posted to my second choice. I have nothing against the school I'm posted to because I heard positive things about it but the thing that puts me off would be the travelling time. It's so far away!
However what really angers me about the results is that a schoolmate of mine actually got into the school I want, with the exact same points as me. It's so ridiculous that she gets in and I don't. If they want to compare about leadership, I'm sure we are on par. Oh not to mention how some other people who got worse results than me but still got in because he/she get to minus 4 extra points and just hit the cutoff point for that school. It's not just me who encountered such a situation. I have a lot of friends who didn't get into their first choice too despite getting the same number points as their friends who managed to get in. I just felt like, why is it so unfair? Oh, you may say it's due to limited places in the school but heck, if that's really the case then why do you all still consider students who are going to appeal to the school? You guys are probably gonna say I'm contradicting myself when I tell you all that I actually appealed for the school I want to go into. Whatever floats your boat.
It's also irritating that those people who get really good scores get into schools that are pretty average. The main point is, I don't care if they are spoiling the market in that particular school but because of them, people like me don't get the chance to go to the school they want despite really studying for it. For those people who are smart, they have the rights to choose whatever school they want but for people like me, we don't really have many choices. I'm also not really blaming the people who have good grades coming to average schools and make us compete for a place in that school because maybe they considered the distance factor.
At times like this, I just feel like studying in Singapore is really tiring. No matter how well you study, there will always be someone above you, better than you. I understand that competing makes people improve themselves but really, it's getting harder and harder for people to get into their ideal school/ courses. With everyone so high and above in Singapore, it's hard to find the best and instead it's easy to spot the weak. As such, the weak gets outcasted and condemned. No matter how hard the weak tries to climb up, it's impossible for them to get out of the lowest tier in our society.
This whole post is solely based on my opinion and I am not directing to post to anybody. If you are offended by my opinion then that's just too bad.
Jing Yi
Hello friend. Dont be disappointed in yourself or in the government's system. And most importantly i'm sure your parents aren't disappointed in you. If you feel bad for letting them down, work hard in your tertiary education. We all will feel like we've let our parents down some time or another. But it's always never too late to do them proud.
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